The Mighty CE is Civilisation!

More Seppuku = Less Samurai


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Simon Olsen, the Liberal behind the #CarbonTax
Stitch
crazyelf
If you live in Australia you may have heard about something called the carbon tax. Depending on the media sources that you've been consuming the carbon tax is either Christ or the anti-Christ. If you've been waiting for the government to do something about global warming for around 20 years it's probably falling into the Christ category. If you're really worried that people will start paying attention to the fact that you run a media organisation that routinely conducts illegal wiretaps then the carbon tax is the anti-Christ.

Regardless of how you feel about the tax there's a good deal of interest in the person responsible for all of this. There's a great many people (or, in the case of Rupert Murdoch, a Lich) stating that Julia Gillard is responsible as she once said that there wouldn't be a carbon tax under any government she leads. I feel that this is an unfair assessment as the current government is a patchwork made up of the clientele of the Mos Eisley Cantina and a few pumpkin seeds that some Labor party backbencher thought may be magical. As a result I feel it's unfair to say that Julia Gillard is wholly responsible. It's even more unfair to categorise her conduct as Prime Minister as leadership.

When the media is tired of pinning the blame on Julia Gillard many other commentators state that the real person responsible is Bob Brown, the leader of the Greens. One of the pumpkin seeds that was picked up by a Labor backbencher was in fact Adam Bandt, a Green's candidate that won the seat of Melbourne in the last election. As a result of that it would be more fair to state that Adam Bandt is responsible but as Adam doesn't really have a personality it's easier to state that the Bob Brown is, as he's homosexual and therefore fabulous.

Despite all the media coverage I don't think it truly highlights the one person that really made all this happen. As a supporter of the carbon tax I would like to say a very big thank you to this man, Simon Olsen:


The best loser ever!

Not many of you know who this man is, so allow me to explain. During the last federal election the seat of Melbourne was being contested between the Greens and the Labor party. Very few people in Melbourne were voting for the Liberal party as Melbourne was once voted the world's most liveable city, which suggests a dearth of Liberal supporters. There were still some that voted for them, though, and seeing that the Greens didn't win enough of the primary vote to get them over the line votes had to go back to preferences.

Simon, being a visionary, had decided to put on his voting forms a preference for the Greens. What this means is that a Liberal voter would be handed a voting form by a Liberal party supporter which said, “Vote like this, vote one for Liberal, which in the seat of Melbourne means you're throwing your vote away, and then vote two for the Greens, because humpity dumpity dooooo!” I may be paraphrasing. I don't think I'll ever understand why someone in Simon's position would do that, but he's a visionary so I don't question it. Although the Liberal party giving a preference to the Greens on their voting forms is much akin to a KKK candidate preferencing Malcolm X, it is not for me to wonder why. Visionaries do remarkable things like this for reasons that are inexplicable to most people.

As a result of this preferencing the Greens, Adam Bandt, and thus our secret gay Prime Minister Bob Brown, now reign supreme.

So thank you, Simon. Thank you for the carbon tax. Thank you for your visionary behaviour that has allowed the nation to take a step forward rather than backwards into the feudal reign of terror so clearly envisioned by the terrifying leader of your Liberal party at the moment. We know you didn't want that, and I'm sure that's why you did what you did.

Thank you!

If you want to thank Simon for yourself, you can send him an email at: simon.olsen@vic.liberal.org.au which would be a very nice thing to do. It would also be nice if you tweeted about the guy, because so far all the tweets involving the term Simon and Olsen are to do with the Olsen twins, and no one deserves that.

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